Can someone give me a tissue, please?

Although my 2018 started with an amazing party and the night really was lit, a few days after things started tumbling down for me. I welcomed the winter of 2017 with a lot of healthy teas filled with ginger, turmeric and lemons hoping it would save me from all the flu viruses swarming around. But I guess I couldn’t manage it this winter either to get through the cold days with a strong immune system. So I have to admit that I really have flu since yesterday.

It was thursday, a couple days ago, where I came out of the shower with a really sore throat. I didn’t understand why my throat hurted that much, so I just went sleeping. The other day I still felt a bit sick so I thought it would be better to take some rest and not work out. So when I felt a bit better on saturday the first thing I did was jumping into my gym clothes and run to the gym. It was leg day so I trained my legs and that evening some friends of my mom came over.

I was also feeling some pain again in my knees (due to my injury earlier past year) but I was refusing to listen to my body. Anyway, that evening I began to see cloudy through my right eye. I thought my eye was irritated, so I put out my lenses and realized that my right eye continued releasing too much mucus from my tear ducts. So I felt pretty down because I couldn’t understand why I was having an eye inflammation. So the other day my right eye got swollen up and I couldn’t make it to the gym again. I thought that my body was giving me a sign to take some rest, because it was giving me no other choice. I know myself and if it was only my sore throat or a running nose, I would’ve gone either way, but with my whole eye swollen up I eventually brought up some self-pity and stayed home.

That evening also my ear started hurting, so I guess the virus spread all over my head, beginning at my throat, than my eye and than also my ear. So although I was waiting for my eye to recover, now my symptoms become heavier. And that was yesterday night, which was really a hell. I woke up multiple times during the night and took a lot of painkillers, which I never do unless I’m almost dying because of pain. Thank God this morning the pain in my ear was much less so I didn’t call the doctor, but I decided to take some rest again.

Although I’ve got no appetite I still force myself to eat my breakfast and veggies at dinner time, to compensate the fact I can’t work out. I’m realizing once again how hard it is for me, not being able to work out or do what I want to do, because my body doesn’t want to. These days of sickness, were kinda relaxed back in the days, when I could skip school, but now I’m really having a hard time staying at home and lying down sweating the sh*t out of myself. If it wasn’t because of the flu and the heavy symptoms I would have continued going to the gym, even if my knee started hurting again and that’s kinda weird too.

I know that I have to listen to my body and that I have to go a bit slower if my body needs more time to recover, but seeing the positive results of my hard work and having to go a little slower, is so frustrating! I’m realizing once again that the perfectionist living inside of me really has no stop button and she can push me easily over my borders just to get where she wants to be. Somehow I feel like my body is teasing me by causing these heavy symptoms so I have no other choice but taking some rest. Because that’s definitely what I will be doing, no matter how hard I might find it to.

So I will be taking a lot of rest and watch some amazing movies and documentaries now that I can’t move a lot. I hope these days will give my body and especially my knees the rest which they need and I can reload my energy. I can’t wait to be back in the gym already to kick some ass. Sometimes you have to miss each other a bit, right? Could the gym be missing me also?

Anyway, I hope y’all started the 2018 way healthier than I did! Or maybe there are also some of you who also lie sick in bed? I hope we will both get well soon then! 🙂

Love xo

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