Going through maybe the hardest time of my life not knowing where I belong or not knowing where I’m going to, I feel the urge to do the best I can everyday. And some days it’s not much, which can be frustrating, but everytime I feel like falling down, I focus all my power on getting up again.
It’s these years which bring a lot of confusing with them I guess. I’m at a point where my study is coming to an end and I’m in a transforming in an adult as we all used to know from our childhood. I’ve got a million things on my mind I want to do, million places I want to go and millions goals to accomplish. Most of the time I feel completely lost by not knowing where to start, which ends up in doing exactly nothing at all.
Some days I’m all about positivity, and the other days I’m searching for stories of other people who’ve gone through a lot of difficulties too, to find some strength to hold on. This is by the way also the reason why in the first place I decided to blog and write about my journey, so maybe others would also feel a connection and strength, just like I do. Maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s just me, but I admit that I see myself struggling everyday to complete more and more missing pieces of the puzzle that my life is. I’m asking questions like “Is this what it is all about?” “Why are we on this planet?” “What is the purpose of everything?”.
The most frustrating part, is seeing other people who seem to have it all together, but realizing by taking a closer look, that they have no clue either. We all hold on to titles and roles that give us a feeling of some kind of identity and we hold on to these roles as hard as we can. We live our lives like it will be our dead if we let those titles slip through our fingers, and while we’re busy holding on, we don’t realize that life is passing by. We come and go, without even knowing why we came in the first place.
Do we not wanna know? Are these questions too scary to ask? Or do we find some meaning in everything we hold on to? Is it something that I can not understand yet? You see, the struggle is real, haha.
But I want to believe that deep down all of us ask these hard questions I’m asking myself too. Many of us leave this planet everyday without finding an answer maybe, but I strongly believe that we all wanna know what our existence is about. Maybe we ain’t even capable of understanding these concepts, by the way our brains work. But I stil want to believe that we all search for some meaning and that we need to face our fears and light up each others worlds by the most powerful act which is love.
In this life, where no tomorrow is predictable, I believe that only love can lead us through these life path full of unanswerable questions. We all hope that someone somewhere hears all our prayers and answers them. And only then, when we let all of our expectations go about who, what or where, we can see some light shining through our windows on a rainy day when we least expect it.
Maybe there is no purpose, or maybe understanding this way of communicating with the higher powers of this universe is the purpose of it all.
Thank you for reading and being here, I hope you enjoyed, love xo